… I can’t do it if I know I’m looking.
This is from The Well-Played Game: A Player’s Philosophy by Bernard De Koven (2013):
… I like seeing myself doing something well even as much as I like seeing myself being funny.
But I can’t do it if I know I’m looking. I like losing myself in something so that I can find it again — newer, bigger, more excellent than I thought.
So, I give one of me something to do that it can take seriously. But it has to be something that the other of me can stay out of. Because I want it to be a good surprise, I make sure, to the best of my ability, that what I give myself to do is something that either self can do well — the self that wishes to accomplish, the self that wishes to enjoy. I occupy one so that the other can remain far enough away to delight in me.
And when I play a game, both of my selves can take turns being surprised.
… When we’re playing, we’re not thinking about how well we’re playing. We’re just playing. We’re not even thinking about playing.
But we’ve discovered that there are times during which we can play well. We observe, we experience a certain fineness in our way of playing. We are experiencing mastery.
This mastery isn’t over anything in particular. It’s like the mastery of the artist who, having completed the painting, stands back in awe. A mastery in. A union of mastery with mystery.
My most recent previous post from De Koven’s book is here.
-Julie
Coloring 