Unreal Nature

May 28, 2009

It’s About Time!

Filed under: Uncategorized — unrealnature @ 7:30 am

“For too long, game designers have been creatively stymied by a mammary-imaging technology only capable of rendering one type of breast — a heaving pair of massive, gravity-defying, torpedo-shaped bosoms,” said Warren Hood, developer of the new Vex9 graphics card, which has finally enabled video game wire-frame artists to digitally sculpt breasts as small as B-cups.

— from New Video Game Technology Finally Allows Rendering of Small Breasts

More Oniony goodness:

STOCKHOLM—In recognition of her groundbreaking work treating life- threatening diseases of the privates, renowned hoo-ha specialist Dr. Victoria Lazoff was awarded the Nobel Prize in Lady Medicine this week.

The world’s foremost authority on ailments down south, Lazoff led a team of cutting-edge hoo-ha doctors to develop new strategies for detecting abnormal growth in…you know, that area. The accomplished physician humbly accepted medicine’s highest honor before a crowd of her peers, and spoke about the importance of regular screenings to prevent unnecessary complications up inside one’s business.

— from Renowned Hoo-Ha Doctor Wins Nobel Prize for Medical Advancements Down There

New Prescription Fish Tank Eliminates Need for Glasses While Looking at Fish
Auction Won by Crab with $20 Stuck in Claw
That Cheesecake Sitting on the Table: What if it Accidentally Fell Into Your Mouth?
Last Few Republican Senators Form Roman Tortoise
Art Professor Revealed to Be Convincing Fake


— from First 10 Minutes of Chess Game Spent Explaining Replacement Pieces



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