Unreal Nature

October 27, 2008

Some Assembly Required

Filed under: Uncategorized — unrealnature @ 7:42 am

Good morning, boys and girls!

In today’s class, we are going to make one of Julie Heyward’s world famous Equilateral® … things. So, open your starter kits and we shall begin.

First of all, in your kit materials, locate your bean seed (yes, they are safe for vegetarians; these are from vegetable-fed vegetables):

Plant the seed in the little pot of dirt, also found in your kit. Then seal the pot in a clear plastic bag. Take your pots and put them in a warm spot; for example on top of your refrigerator. In 3-4 days they will sprout. Take the sprouted bean and put it in a sunny window. After another two days, you should have a sprout suitable for inclusion in an Equilateral® … thing.

While the bean is sprouting, we will work on the rest of the … thing. Included in your starter kit are two background images with the crabapple triangle already in place:

Take your pick, or, for extra credit, do them both! Here are the rules of construction:

First, you may not move the crabapples AT ALL. They are absolutely fixed iin place, as you find them.

Second, there is Imaginary Gravity. This gravity is always in the top-to-bottom plane of the image, so, right now, boys and girls, go into your brain and adjust your gravity dial so that its angle matches that of your monitor.

Third, add your own objects to the image (you may use anything you like, though the world-famous Ms. Heyward only used sticks® and lichenStones®). All items must balance according to Imaginary Gravity. Your purpose is to build support for the three crabapples.

Fourth, items in the image are not permitted to overlap. Contact is tangential only. The one exception is the sprout, which will be added at the very end. It can overlap anything, but supports nothing.

Okay. Everybody has their little scissors and bottles of glue? You have five days (until the sprouts are ready) to build your own, personal Equilateral®. Isn’t this fun?

Below you can see the Equilateral … things … that Ms. Heyward made from these exact same identical backgrounds!

Now, everybody, please pay attention for one minute. It is absolutely essential that when class ends today (and every day) that you set your gravity dial back to where it was before. Failure to do so can result in, for example, bizarre nonlinear tilted  blog postings (of course, if you tune your gravity dial to the same angle as that of the tilted person, it will un-tilt the blog postings and all make perfect sense).



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