“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents–except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”
–Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)
That opening sentence is considered one of, if not the, worst opening sentence ever. In digital art, and especially in compositing, it has a correlative in what I call “BOO! art”.
What’s the quickest way to completely grab someones attention? Startle them. Scare the bejesus out of them. Jump out of a dark shadow screaming BOO!! The effect only lasts for a few seconds, but, by golly, it always works. Where else to you find 100% effectiveness?
The obvious problem is that it’s … stupid. You’ve made pictures that are effective for two seconds. What a complete waste of talent and time!
I always put jokes at the top of my list of dumb composites, but, really, BOO! pictures are more dangerously wasteful – because they attract some incredibly talented people. Look anywhere on the internet where digital art/photography is shown and you’ll see their work. Weapons, wounds, mutilations, dangerous or threatening animals, dark, dark, dark, BDSM, monsters, dragons, loads of blood. You know the type.
An example of very good work in BOO! art would be Dominic Rouse. I pick him out of the many, many possible candidates, not because he’s bad but precisely because he is so good. He makes terrific art. But to me, its a waste of his great talent.
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The “dark and stormy night” line has spawned an annual contest to write the worst possible opening sentence in various categories. It’s called the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Below are a few choice samples:
In the Purple Prose category:
The winner: “Professor Radzinsky wove his fingers together in a tweed-like fabric, pinched his lips together like a blowfish, and began his lecture on simile and metaphor, which are, like, similar to one another, except that similes are almost always preceded by the word ‘like’ while metaphors are more like words that make you think of something else beside what you are describing.” - by Wayne McCoy, Gainesville, FL
Runner up: ”The highway coiled up and around the mountain like a snake ready to strike because it was being harassed by one of those annoying guys on “Animal Planet.”" - by Brent Sheppard
Another runner up: “His feelings for Lydia became a jumbled mess, like when the pen slips out of the hole on a Spirograph wheel, ruining the drawing you have been working on for hours, or possibly, the pen running out of ink during the process, snagging and tearing a hole in the 110# cover rated vellum of his heart.” – by Russell Wren, Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Winner in the Vile Puns category: “I was in a back alley in Fiji, fighting desperately and silently for my life, fighting desperately for oxygen, clawing at the calm and almost gentle pressure of the fabric held over my face by implacable, ebony thighs when I realized — he was killing me softly with his sarong.” - by Karl Scott, Brisbane Australia
-Julie
http://www.unrealnature.com/